HUMOR POST!

[Uberjam]

HAHAHA now that's a good joke right there! ;D

[soulbird]

here's another one:

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you"

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about
everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see wha! t we can do about that: #1, you have to be
single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfils the cab driver's fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and
I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party."

[Uberjam]

Dear Wife,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've
been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for
it...

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came
home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your
favorite
meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate
in two minutes and went straight to bed after watching all of your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't want sex anymore or
anything, either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, what
ever the cause I'm gone.

Your Ex-husband

P.S. Don't try to find me..Your sister and I are moving away to West
Virginia together...Have a great life..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far
cry from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and
gripping. I did notice your hair cut last week , the first thing that came
to mind was "You look just like a girl!" but my Mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say something nice.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with
my Sister because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago. I turned away from you when you had those
new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that
it was a coincidence that my sister had borrowed $50.00 from me that
morning...and your silk boxers were $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for
ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought two tickets to Jamaica. But
when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote,
you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed...Rich as Hell and Free.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
Carl. I hope that is not a problem.

[Checkmate!]

here's mine naman.

I called the doctor's office to report a lab. result.

CM: patient is positive for M.R.S.A.

chinese MD: Can you spell that for me please.

[Hayabusa]

Had this encounter with the reception personel at our office. He called to inform us of an incoming package from a certain person. Ser, he said in a visayan accent, may package kayo dito galing kay Henny Co Lupiz. I didn't know of anyone that goes with that name so I asked my officemates...

Me: May package daw galing kay Henny Co Lupiz.

Them: Henny Lopez? Sino yun?

Then our supervisor said: A, Henny Co Law Office yan.

[Uberjam]

i once received a phone call thru my LANDLINE and the caller asked me "asan ka?"