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Post by vic01 on Jan 15, 2006 14:22:40 GMT 8
Hi guys, I just want to know your opinions and ideas about this situation.
What if you have a girlfriend,and you two were engaged. You love each other so much. You live in other country(i.e. US) and your GF in other country (Philippines example). You've been together for years and you are a resident of US now. You talked about the future and she told you that she doesn't want to go and stay in US where you are. Her dreams are in the country where she is, have home, stable career, etc.
You dont like it though, coz you're goin to be apart, or maybe lose each other. Guys, what are you goin to do if you're the guy? What decision will you make? Go with her and stay(give up everything, also there's the idea your parents will get mad bec of what you did), or call it quit to make her dreams/your dreams come true eventhough you will lose each other.
Just wanna know, thanks!!
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Post by archaznable on Jan 15, 2006 14:53:10 GMT 8
Hi guys, I just want to know your opinions and ideas about this situation. What if you have a girlfriend,and you two were engaged. You love each other so much. You live in other country(i.e. US) and your GF in other country (Philippines example). You've been together for years and you are a resident of US now. You talked about the future and she told you that she doesn't want to go and stay in US where you are. Her dreams are in the country where she is, have home, stable career, etc. You dont like it though, coz you're goin to be apart, or maybe lose each other. Guys, what are you goin to do if you're the guy? What decision will you make? Go with her and stay(give up everything, also there's the idea your parents will get mad bec of what you did), or call it quit to make her dreams/your dreams come true eventhough you will lose each other. Just wanna know, thanks!! well a long distance relationship is very hard for a 100 only 5 of those are only successful or none of them becomes succesful .... i tell you its hard. And also the guy was already an American citizen has jobs there which the guy can't quit if he goes here in the Philippines he might only stay for a week or a month which is very minimal or if he didnt go back to the states he might loose a job there. And the girl already decided that she didn't want to go to the US because she has a stable career here in the Philippines. In my opinion it would be best for the guy just to stay in the States. Not unless both parties have change there minds. |
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Post by genocide on Jan 15, 2006 17:14:40 GMT 8
hmmm... i think this is where your convincing power takes place... the same thing might happen to me in the near future, i think... masarap tumira sa Pinas, mahirap nga lang ang pera... but you have lots of opportunities sa US... and it's be better if she'd stay there with you...
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Post by Joemar on Jan 15, 2006 17:22:10 GMT 8
Medyo mahirap yan pre....di ba pwede kung salitan kayo...like...she can stay there sometime..and you can stay here sa pinas magastos nga lang......sorry kung medyo "unexperienced" ang dating ko dyan...medyo mahirap din kasi situation mo and its serious na...
yan yung kind of situation na...mahirap pag-isipan..
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Jaybats
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Posts: 248
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Post by Jaybats on Jan 15, 2006 19:18:52 GMT 8
it is better to part now, swift and clean. clear your heads and hearts first. if your feelings are strong enough, you will get back together again, magkakalinawan kayo. better give each other a chance to pursue your dreams first by breaking up. kasi it's only after that that you will realize what your dreams really are.
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Post by Joemar on Jan 15, 2006 19:54:35 GMT 8
Sir Jaybats is right....mas mahirap ang mahirapan...
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Post by Uberjam on Jan 16, 2006 11:20:32 GMT 8
my two cents... lets take a good look at it and quantify things.
guy has:
career in the U.S.
girl ha:
career in the Phil.
guy and girl are doing great but...
guy wants to stay in the US
girl wants to stay in the Phil.
and what to they both have?
guy and girl are inlove and engaged...
so one has to sacrifice for the other... guy goes to Phil. or girl goes to US otherwise
guy stays in US only + girl stays in Phil. only = no wedding bells and engagement or stay together as a long distance relationship with the occasional visits to one another.
bottom line... "someone or something has to give"
CHEERS ;D
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Post by vic01 on Jan 16, 2006 13:27:49 GMT 8
Thanks for the comments guys! I really appreciate it.
Its hard to think about it, what you will do, its hard to make a decision knowing there will be consequences on your actions. I tried to convince her, maybe its not enough for her to come w/ me. We talked about it and she said she made up her mind to stay back there, I know she really loves me and I understand what she wants and needs in life. I asked her to give me time to think about it.
Its really hard to sacrifice, to give up something you have now. I've been thinking how my family worked hard just get me here and they've given me a nice future, and the most opportunities. I just dont want it to be lost and get mad at me. We know for sure there is no win-win situation on this, never will be, have to give up something...
I've been thinking and feeling, just what jaybats said. Its better to let go each other to know what your dreams really are. Its really hard to let your special someone go... At least you made a person's dream come true.
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Post by Uberjam on Jan 16, 2006 15:51:41 GMT 8
have you seen the movie "GOOD WILL HUNTING"? if you got time maybe you could watch it? its a good flick believe me, starring robin williams (whom he won best supporting actor), ben affleck and matt damon (ben and matt also wrote the movie and won best writers as well).
well i strongly suggest you see it coz matt damon and robin williams' character were in a similar situation as you (choosing whether career or love), and maybe you might find some wisdom in that movie. if not, well at least enjoy the movie and the popcorn ;D
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Post by vic01 on Jan 16, 2006 18:22:16 GMT 8
have you seen the movie "GOOD WILL HUNTING"? if you got time maybe you could watch it? its a good flick believe me, starring robin williams (whom he won best supporting actor), ben affleck and matt damon (ben and matt also wrote the movie and won best writers as well). well i strongly suggest you see it coz matt damon and robin williams' character were in a similar situation as you (choosing whether career or love), and maybe you might find some wisdom in that movie. if not, well at least enjoy the movie and the popcorn ;D Thanks, ok i will watch it. |
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Jan 16, 2006 23:21:19 GMT 8
i'll give ya a direct answer to that. since i have a relationship with a gal in the states before.... "do what you think is right. Both with your mind and heart" me, my answer was no. its sounds kinda wrong choice but, i did made the right choice on the end. i met sumone more worth it. as for the gal i left who is at the states, well, she's not the perfect gal i thoght she was... if i stik with her, i may have made more tears than loose... fate can sumtimes be cruel, but god will always make sure ther is sumthing good in all of this. and i didn't loose anything only gained. couse i listen to my heart and mind. i think that what you should do.
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Post by genocide on Jan 17, 2006 2:02:19 GMT 8
ok... we should prioritize our dreams... our career... remember Jerry maguire?? he felt incomplete when the spotlight turns to him... what if vic makes a big hit and the person he wants to celebrate it with is with her??? what if "she" plays the main role of his dreams, or she's the biggest part of it??? sorry im not helping out... in my part, only, is that i want to see my achievements with the one i love-- my GF... family and parents is only secondary (did that sound anything bad?)...
(NOT GENERAL) women would stick with their parents only if they dont have a child... if she does have a child, she'd go anywhere and leave her parents just for her kid to grow up and see a mama and dada and have a good life... am i right?? pag walang anak, kapit sa parents muna... unless she have bad parents... sasama yan sayo,bro... still, im not helping... sheeesh!!
oh and another thing... your parents will be really mad if you choose her... but i assume that you're old enough to handle your own life... parents are there to back you up on your desicions... not to handle our lives... this will truly dissapoint them, but they should support you in your decision... they cant be mad at you forever....
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Post by V2 on Jan 17, 2006 7:53:16 GMT 8
looks like everyone beat me to it.
just remember, your decisions mark the future - so choose wisely.
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Post by r2d2t2 on Jan 17, 2006 12:46:58 GMT 8
here's my very elementary advice: get a piece of paper, fold it in two, then write down the pros and cons. sometimes, just sometimes, you can have a better picture when you write it down. hope this helps  |
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Post by cmdrjanjalani on Jan 17, 2006 15:14:09 GMT 8
If either one of the couple does not want to risk their career over their relationship, it may be a sign that they are not meant for each other. They could try to stick with a long-distance relationship, and that would truly test your love for each other especially with the many people of the opposite sex that might enter your life.
I personally believe that if you really love someone you would see him or her as a candidate for marraige in the future. Of course, being married implies that one of them will be living together with the other, and you can't do that if you're at opposite sides of the world. If you can't, I suggest that you may have to end the relationship, or you'll simply be prolonging the inevitable.
Most of the time, it would be up to God, since He knows who you're destined to be with. If you are truly meant for each other, God will open opportunities for you that would allow you to be together. For example your girlfriend's career might actually give her an opportunity to go the U.S. That's a great sign.
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