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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 11, 2005 8:59:15 GMT 8
A lot of girls in "breakups" really deny ever having made the relationship formal. Personally I never could understand that (hey fellow girls, can anyone explain it to me? XD). I think maybe sometimes guys tend to read into a girl's actions and assumes that they're in a relationship when the girl doesn't actually think so. It's happened a lot to two of my best friends; the guy simply assumes they're a couple because the girl is naturally sweet (and hasn't explicitly dumped him yet), when the girl never once thought they were a couple. Girls usually don't assume, you have to flat-out ask them in very clear words, "we're officially a couple". If it's not official, she may not consider it a formal relationship, and will have an excuse to deny you if you ever break up. And a "maybe" is NOT a "yes"!! yan, ca say, sre ako offical kami. as sad, yung ang excuse nya dun sa ibang kakilala namin para she can justify na, ganun.  and most of our friends knows that. sadly wala naman sila nagawa eh... And they just pretend na walang nangyari. *ahem* anyway, The point is, there are sum girls ( not all) if yung crush nila lumapit, lipat agad. (even they know that, the guy they like is bad news. And that guy will break ther heart.) Pero, mas masakit if you still have sum feeling for that girl, after that.... Tapos, makkita mo niloko lang sya ng guy na yon. Sumtimes, girls are like guys too. They don't look deep inside of the person who truly loves them. Sad diba? |
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Adelaine
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Hayabusa no Ban Kai
Posts: 166
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Post by Adelaine on Nov 11, 2005 10:14:37 GMT 8
It's like asking the question: "Will you choose the one who loves you or the one you love?" Some girls choose the latter. Hindi naman kasi laging nangyayari na the former and the latter are one and the same person.
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 11, 2005 12:42:31 GMT 8
It's like asking the question: "Will you choose the one who loves you or the one you love?" Some girls choose the latter. Hindi naman kasi laging nangyayari na the former and the latter are one and the same person. true.. kaya siguro, sum gals ends up with the wrong guy commonly. but one thing is wrong for sure. if you leave a guy/gal for another one, be prepare to have bad karma if you made a wrong choice. Ksi, Once you enter a relationship, you can't just disreguard it... Love is not a game.  choices have sum concequences, and you will never know, till that person made that choice. Sumtimes, its good. But sumtimes, its bad. And in this time of ours, maraming mapagsamantala talga. |
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Adelaine
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Hayabusa no Ban Kai
Posts: 166
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Post by Adelaine on Nov 11, 2005 14:51:42 GMT 8
I can't really say.... because with the group of people I revolve around now, those who are in relationships are happy with their partners, and these couples have been together for years. I have no personal experience in being "used," and out of a barkada of ten there's only one of us who's love life has been terribly rocky.
Maybe it's because people tend to remember the bad things that we say "maraming mapagsamantala." Marami nga, pero marami rin namang mabait e. The heartache stays longer than the happy feeling; people remember bad traits more than they remember the good.
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 11, 2005 18:22:50 GMT 8
I can't really say.... because with the group of people I revolve around now, those who are in relationships are happy with their partners, and these couples have been together for years. I have no personal experience in being "used," and out of a barkada of ten there's only one of us who's love life has been terribly rocky. Maybe it's because people tend to remember the bad things that we say "maraming mapagsamantala." Marami nga, pero marami rin namang mabait e. The heartache stays longer than the happy feeling; people remember bad traits more than they remember the good. Kaya nga its a matter the group of peepz you meet. like what happend to our fellow members here, sum of sa cases yon. pero, no one really knows kung sino ang mabait at masama till dumating ang araw na malalaman mo kung sno talga ang friend mo. That's why its not because lahat mababait, marami may anterior motive. To be honest, no one ca tell who's tre or not till. the right time comes. |
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Post by patacat on Nov 13, 2005 17:37:17 GMT 8
How can you tell if you've been heartbroken or not anyway? when it pains you that you cant be with that one person. you feel depressed and hopeless. wala kang ganang gawin ang kahit ano. somedays seem alright. but then there are days na igagapang mo makaraos ka lng. minsan ngingiti ka. madalas tahimik ka dahil sya ang nasa isip mo at hirap ka nang isipin sya. you want to forget evrything about that person just to save you from feeling all this depression. you feel hate and love at the same time for that person. you ask your friends for help, to console you and tell you everything is gonna be fine. but in the end its not enough because no one can give you what you want and what you need. its anything but a field day that's for sure. i cant explain it enough to make someone who hasnt gone through it understand. |
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Post by patacat on Nov 13, 2005 17:44:55 GMT 8
to twisted: loving someone is always a gamble. some avoid giving it their all in a relationship because they feel that they are gonna get hurt sooner or later. and that's ok. but the thing is, its not love if you cant get hurt. at least i dont believe it is.
you may have your rules now when it comes to relationships and you stick to them as much as possible. but that's because you probably havent met that one person that's gonna make you break all of it.
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 13, 2005 20:43:49 GMT 8
I dunno if my mind set is good or bad but this has protected me many times already... I know I can be a bit paranoid sometimes, but I think everybody's saying bad things about me behind my back... That's why I really don't go on accepting praises or compliments.. And right now, I don't trust guys saying that they like me... More often than not, I thank that mindset of mine coz it has saved me from a lot of possible heartaches and frustration.. I'm not a man hater or whatever, I just don't trust them if I'm in a relationship with one... I've firmly resolved to not be in a relationship for an indefenite period of time.. Have I ever been heartbroken? I don't know.. How can you tell if you've been heartbroken or not anyway? just like a friend i know. she has that same thing and way of thinking. It makes me say this, What i said from older post, are truthfully correctly. no one can really tell who is good or a bad person, you just have to trust yourself to make the right decision. |
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Adelaine
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Hayabusa no Ban Kai
Posts: 166
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Post by Adelaine on Nov 15, 2005 12:50:06 GMT 8
Sometimes, the pain of never having experienced pain is heartbreak enough.
This is something I've just seen from an anime, but it's actually true. The pain of being broken-hearted, or dumped, rejected, cast aside, back-stabbed... no matter how much it hurts, the fact that you feel it is proof that you're alive. And loving someone, even if it isn't returned, still nourishes you as a person.
It's sappy, but it's worth thinking about.
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Post by patacat on Nov 15, 2005 14:45:36 GMT 8
And loving someone, even if it isn't returned, still nourishes you as a person. but if you continue to love someone and love isnt returned, is it still healthy? im just asking coz from experience i know that this sort of thing causes a person so much pain and not enough gratification (or none at all). |
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 15, 2005 17:37:26 GMT 8
hard to say, but there are sum pepz that think they can do anything they want without worring that, sumone will get back at them for all of the crimes they made. I have to admit, i'm a guy. Most of this players game are guys ideas... and i'm not proud of it. But pepz sumtimes are " liberated" But for me, its only fun till sumone gets hurt by it. and that's the game we call love.
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Adelaine
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Hayabusa no Ban Kai
Posts: 166
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Post by Adelaine on Nov 16, 2005 8:51:52 GMT 8
I can say from my experience that yes, it's worth it. But let me clarify something first. The six-year humonguous crush I had before was on one of my best friends (and my entire 'kada told me that it was so huge that it doesn't count as a crush anymore). I was honest-to-goodness in-love with the guy. But he never returned it in the way I wanted, and he never could've because it really just. is. not. meant. to. be. No blame to anyone. He loved me back but never as more than a friend or sister. It took a long time (four years) before I was able to accept that my feelings would never be returned in kind, but I didn't stop loving the guy, and I still love him now although not in that way anymore. Back to the question: Is it healthy? No, and Yes. Let's face it: We all want to be loved back. Gratification, as you so called it. When you say you're "in love" with a person, it's with longing that she will return your feelings. But the thing is, you can't force anyone's feelings, just as you can't force how you feel. The reason "Love" becomes unhealthy is because you want something that someone else can't give. It's this desire that drives you manically depressed, and in worse cases, insane/suicidal/dead. Unconditional love, on the other hand, is nothing but good. True love isn't something you pour out of a bucket; it never dries, and you can give and give and give and give and never run out (and not just to one single person either). It's when you love someone without wanting anything back that you grow and become a better person. Syempre, tao lang naman tayo, so hindi rin naman maiwasan ang pagnanasa. We can't help it when love becomes unhealthy sometimes. When that happens, that's when it's time to stop and rethink. There's no general rule after all. Gosh, I just sound like some kind of nun.  . Gomen ne. But I've been there too, and I lived through it. |
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Post by Anakin Skywalker on Nov 21, 2005 20:41:26 GMT 8
you two are both right... but its up to te two who are working it out you know? sumtimes things don't go as you planned it. but sumtimes, it works out or can be worst.
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Post by patacat on Nov 22, 2005 2:24:41 GMT 8
Love that isn't returned? Unrequited love? Love is something that is shared... So you don't really give it away... Something good should always come out from it. If nothing comes out of the "love" that you claim you have "given/shared"... then you better check if you're one of the millions of people who misuse the word..."LOVE" ok. but let me give you a situation. let's say you care deeply about someone. and you'd do anything for that person. but that same person takes what you do for him/her for granted. isn't that love unshared? isn't that one sided love? you may say that what you get out of it is the satisfaction of helping a loved one and that should be enough. but you still cant consider it sharing, can you?  |
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Adelaine
DX Gashapon Super Robot
Hayabusa no Ban Kai
Posts: 166
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Post by Adelaine on Nov 22, 2005 12:45:43 GMT 8
The thing is, there are many definitions of love. Ask anyone and you get a different answer each time. Yes, there are people who misuse the word each and every day. But who gave anyone the authority to say anyone else is wrong?
Know what, that happens all the time. It doesn't even have to be lovers of the boyfriend/girlfriend type. Just imagine how many parents are taken for granted by their kids, and vice versa. How many people volunteer for social work, to help with the disabled, with the poor, with the mentally impaired, with those in prison. This kind of "love" isn't always returned or shared, but that doensn't mean it's not "love", isn't it?
Or are we cynical enough to believe that nobody does anything without vested interest?
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( diba, the saying, "Parang gulong lang ang buhay? minsan, nasbaba ka, minsan nasa taas ka naman.") its all amatter of time to heal pain and Get back at those who wrong you. ^_^ so this thing about friends from a couple, is a es and a no answer tlaga.
( diba, the saying, "Parang gulong lang ang buhay? minsan, nasbaba ka, minsan nasa taas ka naman.") its all amatter of time to heal pain and Get back at those who wrong you. ^_^ so this thing about friends from a couple, is a es and a no answer tlaga.
and most of our friends knows that. sadly wala naman sila nagawa eh... And they just pretend na walang nangyari. 
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choices have sum concequences, and you will never know, till that person made that choice. Sumtimes, its good. But sumtimes, its bad. And in this time of ours, maraming mapagsamantala talga.
. Gomen ne. But I've been there too, and I lived through it.
keeping the site active as a place to dump info for easier backtracking.